A walk to remember

If feel that the time spent in the wilderness is the best time in one's life! A person might feel more secure and definitely more comfortable sitting beneath a fan in his living room or in an air-conditioned environment in his car, but the true and pure feeling of happiness originates from the scent of the weeds and smell of the dampness in a forest!
Even now when there are too less forests left and too many cities, the tranquility and serenity of the woods attract the wild being that sleeps in us 'like a bear, waiting for the summer to arrive in order to walk again'... yeah...okay...  read this in a poem somewhere!
People now-a-days are too concerned about their health so they refrain from what they call dirt, mud, grass, weed ( the real one! No drug abuse intended) and such things and still they require vitamin pills, calcium tabs, energy caps, and such crap!
I believe that if a person had too be healthy, he would refrain from gelatin pills rather than twigs!
Its in the wild that wee feel free, we feel out-of-the-chains and we feel 'ourselves'!
Now why do I suddenly get writing about forests and trees? That's because I, along with some of my friends went to a temple on the top of a hill close to our town, called 'Syahi-devi'!
Now its a mile and some to climb to reach the top after an hour long car journey and tell you what... Its amazing!
Despite the fact that I was mostly puking on my was to the spot (Due to the hideous, treacherous, 'beep' 'bee' 'censored' 'censored' songs played in the car by the driver!), I clicked a million photographs on my way up, got lost, ran in the fear of being chased by a leopard, shouted a lot, fell tired and ultimately met my friends! All this in a mile long climb! Phew!
It was I, Pankaj, Bharat, Anshul( the holy son of god... if you've been reading my earlier posts!), Gaurav, Cdt. Dishant, and Akash, who ventured to reach the top of the hill. But we did a lot more than simple soporific and tedious climbing... we wreaked havoc in the hills!
To be honest, it indeed was mostly a rough climb to the top with little incidents like Dishant holding a snake in his hand and me almost being lost... well it doesn't really matter now, does it?
Then we tried to eat some noodles cooked like rice with some sauce that smelled like turpentine oil but was probably nothing but stale vinegar! But before all this we prayed in the temple... for general things that everybody else prays about!
But the actual fun of the trip was on the way down. We halted in a clearing and decided to play hide and seek in the forest we knew nothing about, which probably had a few leopards and with no signs of civilization for about half a mile! But that is what life is all about!
We fell
and we rose, we jumped and crashed( really badly!) we brushed our wounds and played again all this we did despite all the calls from our driver who was getting late!
After an hour of playing we got tired and sent Gaurav ( alone!) all the way to the top of the hill to fetch some water!
After all the fun we had in the wild, I was getting late, and frankly we didn't want to be eaten by the surely frustrated leopards of the forest, so we descended from the hill to the spot where the car and the really crabbed driver!
I might not have gone many places but this was surely one 'heaven' of a trip!

The necessary Immobility!

India is a country of diversity in every aspect of life! Be it festivals or attire, our country is a way apart, there are millions of colors, millions of people and yes, millions of mobile devices! Mobile has now become a part of every household. A device that was very exclusive in the last decade has now become the new revolution! 
There are bureaucrats, doctors, engineers, shopkeepers, housewives, small children, punks, drunkards, drivers, policemen and many many more... each with one hand in their pockets and the other stuck to their ear using a mobile. A mobile is, to be precise, a device that makes you immobile! 
Yeah! It is... i'll tell you how!
See, earlier you used to wake up and shut down the alarm clock, now this (you might not have noticed) required great deal of hard-work... now you just touch the screen and the alarm turns off. WHO THE HELL wakes up after that! Not just this, the alarm tune is something like 'While my guitar gently weeps'... That make you even sleepier!
Apart from that, earlier there was computer to check you mail, Walkman to listen to music, A watch to see the time, a calender to look up the date, and something called a dictionary (People haven't started calling it "GOO"ctionary only because it looks rather crude!).
And to get to all these darn things, you had to walk. And then you lost the calories. And then you stayed healthy.
But all that you find written beneath 'Health' in Wikipedia are terms like 'Non-living', 'organisations' and stuff like that when you search it... oops... 'google' it!
Talking of health, I see in newspapers every other day, reports claiming,
Mobiles fuel Heart attacks, brain dysfunction, liver failure, kidney failure and many more things!
But still mobiles are growing and so are diseases!
You know what this means..." MOBILE IS AN EPIDEMIC! "
You can't keep it in your breast pocket... cause your heart will fail and you will die!
You can't keep it in your back pocket... cause your back will be burned will fail and you will die!
You can't keep it in your frond pant pocket pocket... cause your kidneys will fail and you will die (or get impotent... in case of any other scenario)!
So you are necessarily dead and should stop worrying about insurance policies because you'll end up giving all your money to your children who'll probably buy costly mobiles out of what they get!
I wanted to write a little more, but since I've got a call on my cellphone... maybe I'll write later!

Walking along the freeway of life...

I've never been quite interested in the mysteries of life. For me life has mostly been a random set of riddles... sometimes I am able to fathom them and sometimes I am not, but still, I realize something, mostly I am not able to comprehend why, in the name of sonny jesus, am I solving those freaking puzzles in the first place!
I guess this is the story with most of us who think life is almost as simple as a pie, but mostly we don't understand what has got into making the pie so simple!
Now since I don't like to talk of serious matters to the readers, I usually resort to simple means to convey my actual story!
What I need to talk to you about today is actually a question that i've never actually been able to understand all through my life.


What the hell am I doing here!?


Okay guys, its not that simple. I not here to earn a living. To get married. To have children. To have a house. And frankly, to die!
If death had been the motive of our birth, we wouldn't have born in the first place! There would have been no light bulb had Edison thought that the end result would be it fusing up!
There are many reasons behind us humans all being born with a certain purpose. The first, and most evident, reason would be our frustration at doing certain things. Had we all been machines, all built to do the all the same things, we would have done all the things with the same sense of joy! It wouldn't have been like us having a face of a troll while painting the yard, but since it is, we must conclude that we all are different and built for different purposes!
I've come to think of all this crap today out of no particular reason. I just wanted to write something that was indeed of some use! i guess I can't write useful stuff longer than this, because I realize that things run out of their usefulness when they get boring... look at the comedy shows on Indian television!

Tripping down a trip!

I don’t know how else to put it, but me and my three friends had one hell of a trip today! I mean we crossed paths annihilated by large landslides, had to run from a huge herd of cows, nearly went down to three, and oh... how the ‘hell’ could I forget! We were with the son of god!

Okay! Let’s put it like it happened!

We had planned to go to a tourist spot called ‘Kasar-devi’ that’s in walking distance from our town. We set off at seven in the morning. We were four friends, three impure souls and Christ himself. Okay! One of my friends...whom I saw after a year...who has now got a beard, and thus assumed the appearance of the Son of god...and thus his name!

So we set of on the asphalt covered trail towards our destination. The road to the destination had, to a certain extent, nothing special...well, apart from us christening Christ the redeemer, Christ the photographer; and us nearly entering what looked liked a deserted caravan, in hopes of finding a severed head but otherwise... nothing special!

The actual journey began at our destination!

The ‘Kasar-devi’ temple is at quite some height, and has some great rock outcrops, and we are four young boys... so we decided to get our photos snapped as we fought for dear life on the edges of the severed rocks! So three of us did it, the fourth being an acrophobic or rather unwise...seeing that the lord walked with us!

Let me tell you something here. The spirit of adventure is like herpes, once you get it... there is no way back!

So we got infected, and that too real bad!

We decided to walk down the hill to the road by following un-trodden paths, or rather, no paths at all!

The first real adventure came up when one of our friends, an engineering student, decided to run down a hill, and then (perhaps by the divine will of the ‘lord’ himself), stop as the edge of the mountain approached!

And he failed.

Drastically.

He ran down (as he perhaps had planned), gained speed (the inevitable), and failed to stop (despite the son of god).

But as I approached the edge of the hill, expecting to see a thousand foot fall and his spread-eagled body... I was shocked to see him hopping down what seemed like a 7-foot-drop, clutching his ankle! After all our swearing at him...Lord had indeed blessed his child!

After that we decided to ‘forget’ the sprained ankle and move on down the hill, on no path still!

After we had reached another steep fall, we decided to sit down and enjoy the serene beauty of the valley! But then, one of our friends stepped on cow dung, and ‘Yeshua’ was extremely tired, and despite our ‘forgetting’ the ankle...it was still there!

So we decided to get on the path home as soon as possible. Soon we found an ill-trodden (but ‘still’ trodden) path. We started climbing down the hill. Suddenly we realized that a few women (who apparently decided to think that we didn’t exist), started to walk down the same path we were on with there huge heard of cows. The only way the cows could have walked down the path was by either throwing us down the hill, or by thinking that we were invisible, trotting on upon us and beyond.

Seeing either of these options as clearly unacceptable, we ran down the path for dear life!

After running down what seemed like a few hundred yards, we started walking down again.

Yet again... despite being with the son of god, and despite having faced ‘quite some’ difficulties, our path was now blocked by a massive landslide... which Christ, as usual, thought, could be crossed easily...only if we had the ‘faith’!

Sadly, one of my friends agreed with him... so I swore (don’t call it blasphemy) at both of them and we four split up into two teams... one of my friends and I decided to head back and climb up to the ‘asphalt’ road down as soon as we saw a visible road up. Lord, on the other hand decided to go right way ‘UP”!

Finally after much loud swearing, and pretty much hard work... we finally reached the ‘real road’, and headed on our way down... another ‘not-so special’ journey... with another few exceptions like me playing loud metal music and Christ disagreeing( as expected!) and no one listening to him (again expected!); and also us eating a very-very awkward dish...consisting of curry, mashed potatoes and I-don’t-have-a-freaking-idea-what’s.

On the hole, the journey was fun (irritating), adventurous (ridiculous) and worth remembering (at least for a few days)!

Thanks for all the fun...to Pankaj, Akash, and the lord almighty!

Run...Apocalypse coming!!!

The world will end when it will end. There is no point being scared that a mighty meteor, which will presumably, appear out of a gigantic black hole, will strike the earth and kill us all, just because the Mayans did not know how to count after 2012. This is the ultimate extent of stupidity.

Assuming that they did know that the earth will come to an end in 2012, and that a giant rat will come and devour us all, it is still utter foolishness to sell all that you have and go hide in a cave. If there were to be a massive earthquake and the earth were to end, you would die even if you were hiding in a small cave in the mountains of Turkey!

I guarantee, if I had a long beard and a toga, I would have convinced at least a dozen people to sell all their property and dig an underground cave!

Do you know what the reason behind all this is?

I'll tell it to you. In all the years of development that we've seen, in the technological revolution that we've experienced, there is one vital thing that we've forgotten!

Common-sense!

Yes, we've started to believe in much more of this entire non-sense! We try to convince ourselves that all the mistakes that we've committed will all be wiped out in a single stroke and that we'll all be spared! How childish!

I write this because I recently read a report claiming that a dozen or so people sold all they had because they believed in the 20-may-apocalypse!

Guys! Jesus ain't coming back that soon... and even if he is, he'll lead you into light and not take you into darkness!

So believe in what is a fact and don't take in what is fagged!

I keep this post real short because this isn't an actual post! This is just a small notice of caution for all those who believe too soon... and repent soon enough!

So guys... Keep your cool... There ain't no meteor coming towards us that's not been noticed, and there ain't no Godzilla waking up from its two-hundred-thousand year hibernation!

The New Gods of YouTube

This is a very very personal opinion. My sole intention by this post is to express my personal choice, and while a desperate attempt has been made not to be prejudiced and biased, any loose nut may hit the face of people who are too curious to find faults or rather meddle with deliberate ones!

To begin with, I must ask the fans of 'certain' YouTube sensations (I find it extremely hard to say their name in case I spell it wrong and spark a controversy!), to please STOP reading this! Right now!

I don't say because I am afraid of a small girl coming to my place and threatening to throw water on me! I just feel that if you do proceed with the text (though you might not find a 'SINGLE' clue who am I talking about)... you might 'feel' like I don't like him... some might even go to the extents of thinking that I have exaggerated a few facts... others, who like to be straightforward, might say that I have slaughtered him!

But then I continue thinking that this is your personal opinion... and that I respect it!

So lets jump to the actual topic...

A few years back, when I had been a school going child, I had heard the song of a 'certain singer'; which I found extremely entertaining! Not nice, but 'entertaining'!

The specialty of this singer was that you couldn't possibly tell that you were listening to 'him' or to 'her'! You couldn't have even imagined what the age of the singer was... because if it was a girl, she was close to 16 but if (god forbid!), it were to be a boy, he had just been born!

So the first question that came to my mind was:

"What is the software called?"

What? you don't get it! i mean the software that makes a person's voice have absolutely no relation with his age or sex!

But the person who made me hear the song, which was about a synonym of 'child' and which rhymes with 'maybe' , and who was immensely enjoying it, told me that it was a boy and that he was close to fifteen!

You might feel like I am making fun of someone... but the very next thought that came to my mind was of sympathy...Yes, Sympathy of the greatest degree... or all these teenagers who think that their Adam’s apple would grow... but find out that they haven't got one!

In a few months, this little child, quite possibly gifted with a sexless, ageless voice, became a worldwide hit!

Little girls had posters of him! The boy with a neutered voice became the idle of every little girl... a person every girl wanted to become!

Now you might think that I am one of the "person-I'm-talking-about" haters! And that I am jealous of his hair and his 'gifted' voice!

Well, to this, I certainly have no answer... because whatever I say about how 'utterly ridiculous' his hair look and how, well, 'shrill' his voice is; no one is going to believe me... and even if you don't, I don't give a heck about it!

I write this post not to change the opinions of the people who think that this sensation is their god, because they won't! Nor am I writing this for deliberately expressing 'hate' for the person in question... I don't hate him as a person... I dislike (Quite an understatement) his sort of music!

Another thing that this 'sensation' has done is that he has given birth to many more like him. Recently I heard that there was a particular girl, who, singing about a particular day of the week, had earned herself more dislikes than the 'discussed person'!(I added mine soon afterwards).

To be extremely honest, the song was absolutely ridiculous! I mean we all know Tuesday comes after Monday and that Saturday comes after Friday... and also that Sunday is a holiday! We don't need a freaking song to tell us that! Thank you very much!

Thus I must conclude the post. And the conclusion is that I don't have a particular conclusion. This was just an opinion. This wasn't a post to tell people not to listen to 'the person in question'! Nor was this a 'hate-mail'! This was just a shade of my feelings and opinions about all that happens around me. This was indeed, The light breeze of the Storm!

The New Number of the beast... an ode to the Indian government!

This is a remix of the Iron Maiden classic, the Number of the beast... this will convey meaning of greater essence to all those who grew up listening to heavy metal music and to those too... who are familiar with the current political situation of India. Think not that I’ve don’t this for no cause...  the general elections of 2014 convey a new ray of hope for all of us... a hope against corruption all over India! Comment if you like it... and spread it if you care!

Woe to You Oh U.P and Bengal

for the Government sends the beast with wrath
because he knows the time is short (and elections coming);
Let him who have understanding
reckon the number of the beast
for it is a human number
its number is two thousand and fourteen!

I lived alone
my mind was blank
I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind

What did I see? 
Could I believe? 
That what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy

Just what I saw 
in my old dreams 
were they
reflections of corruption staring back at me?

'Cause in my dreams
it's always there 
the evil face that twists my mind and brings me to despair 

All the money is black 
was no use holding back
'Cause I just had to see
was someone watching me
In the Swiss bank
huge figures move and twist
was all this for real 
or just some kind of hell
2-0-14 the Number of the Beast
Thieves and dacoits were spawned to be released

Torches blazed and 
sacred chants were phrased
as they start to laugh 
Someone with a quarter and someone with half;
In the night 
the money is shining bright
the ritual has begun 
Government's work is done
2-0-14 the Number of the Beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

This can't go on 
I must inform the law (oh! Ha ha ha!)
Can this still be real 
or just some crazy dream?
but I feel drawn 
towards the chanting hordes
seem to mesmerize...can't avoid their eyes
2-0-14 the Number of the Beast
2-0-14 the one for you and me

I'm coming back 
I will return
And I'll possess your land
and I'll make you burn
I'll have the fire (money) 
I'll have the force (police)
I'll have the power (literally)
to make my evil take its course!

Thank you!