Of music and more

"The music I listen to is the only sort of good music that you can probably get!", exclaims the metalhead!
"Nigga, You talkin' shit man! Your music is just shouting and screaming... it no music man!", the hip hopper shouts back.
"You are so foolish and ignorant, music is not about fast speech, its about energy, its about passion, not about spitting at people's faces!"
"Stay cool nigga... i ain't shouting crap man... i am talking about your luck.
and your metal is just shit man... and rock also sucks! That is what I've wanted to tell ya from a long long lime!" gimmicked the hipster! 
"Oh really!", and now the metalhead was  really angry!


Stories like these often come up if you are members of various music related groups on Facebook! You hear crap about JB, about RB about TB( oops... that is if you are part of a medical group!), and then somebody adds you to a group, without even reading your profile, to a 'rock hater' group, and then you have to tolerate notifications about how rock is shit and how metal sucks!
I personally don't give a darn about what people write on fb... I know that being guarded by  a screen gives them a sense of security that they will not be punched in the face and so they keep writing stuff!
And again I have to write before updates and comments and posts like these that these all are personal opinions and they don't have anything to do with personal hatred!
Well, actually, I don't care... I don't care about what people say on fb...well, I am not honest when I say this, because the truth is... that I pretend not to care! I pretend that I don't give a freaking darn! I pretend that I don't want to punch the man in the face who updates his status as... " JB is a rock star!"
But the truth is that I want to do all these things, not because everybody does this but because I feel that certain things insult my genre of music just like they insult people like me!
You might feel that this all is very childish... fighting for 'who's music is the best' and 'who is crap and who isn't!' when it all really doesn't matter... but then you are wrong, aren't you? 
That is because it does matter! Let me ask you a simple question...
How do you feel when you punch a person who called you, and for that matter, anything that you like, crap?
You feel good! You feel satisfied! You feel elated!
And that is what we're living for. Aren't we?


P.S. You don't wanna know the end of the above mentioned story!
       (Hint: Keywords: Chainsaw, Shotgun, Head, Brutal, Laugh, Burn)

Things that never change

Before you start reading this, brace yourself! This post is the mirror image of what I feel, a completely unbiased opinion, for that matter, not even a opinion; just an expression of what I feel!
Two days back, as I sat before the television watching the news about the serial blasts in Mumbai, I did not feel sad! I did not feel angry, for that matter! All i felt was a deep and sincere pain and hopelessness! I felt hopeless because i couldn't be console the people who had lost their loved ones, I couldn't tend the people who were badly injured, and i couldn't help the people who had done this to all of them!
To be completely honest i don not feel a trace of harshness for the terrorists who end up destroying hundreds of lives and ruining many others, I only feel a sincere sadness for all of them who fail to realize the virtue of human sentiments and feelings! Humanity doesn't appear in their dictionary and they will die like many others hoping they had not done what they did!
But I did feel anger then. Not when the distorted remains of humans were shown on television, not either when the injured were rushed into ambulances already full!
I felt anger as the home minister in his speech said that Indians show true spirit in what they do after an explosion takes place...when he appreciated the spirit of the Mumbaikars for continuing life as normal after the bombings!
I can not imagine what else he could have said. I am not concerned about what else he could have said but all that I know is that he should have rather done something than to have said something!
Rahul Gandhi said that 1 % of the terrorist elements can escape! But can they escape and infiltrate so far as to target the largest metropolitan! I am astonished by the level of alertness of homeland security and the intelligence database!
We declare alerts after a bombing happens... we call up the police when all that had to happen...happens! This is not an allegation, its just an expression... not because I have to...but because I want to express myself!
I am not targeting the government, who am I to do so? I am just sad that people die when they could have been saved! Maybe they couldn't have been saved...maybe their fate was written when they were born...maybe they were where destiny took them, but we can't just let people die because we think that destiny overpowers everything! We have to be optimistic.. at least till destiny allows us to be!
Please comment...I want to know what you feel! its never one man's job to think for all!

Commercial Insanity!

I got the idea to write this post when I was watching the television this evening! I wasn't watching anything in particular, not because there wasn't anything particular to watch but because you can't watch anything particular now-a-days! It’s the commercials that you are watching most of the time!

So while watching the commercials that presented themselves mercilessly for almost 15 minutes, I decided that either we've gone unanimously and absolutely stupid, or the advertisements exceedingly insane!

But after having watched almost four innings of these adverts, I realized that both of my hypotheses seemed to have solidified into one singular theory!

I mean, come on, the popping up of pretty ladies in shaving cream ads and men’s wear have become a thing of past! In the most recent advert I saw three black clothed and fearsome looking girls jump out of the bathroom glass armed with wolverine like metal claws and pounce like predators on the protagonist just for the freaking sake of telling him that his shaving cream doesn't nourish his bloody skin! I don't mean to be sarcastic but WHY the hell could the ladies have not used the bathroom door and simply remind the man of the minor flaw in his shaving cream?! That is the allegory of the most insane degree!

Similarly, in another advert, this one selling certain soap, a little girl turns up at home covered in stains of mud with a cat following her. And for some strange reason known only to the maker of the advert and the girl, all that she fears about is that her mother would give her a bash because the bloody cat followed her and that for some divine reason her mother( who, we get to know later in the ad, is standing just behind the girl, and does not get noticed due to either the girl being short sighted or the mother wearing some sort of invisibility cloak), would fail to notice that her school-dress is stained as if she had been doing some mud-artwork the whole day! In all this divinity, the mother, popping up like a witch, reminds the girl that the germs had to be killed, when a normal mom would have beaten the shit out of the girl!

I fail to understand the advert despite the fact that I use the same soap and use it for entirely different reasons!

Another advert that I would like to discuss here is the watch advert featuring a dirt bike race and that has the Indian cricket captain in it who is supposed to tell the audience that if you wear the certain brand of watch, you shall win a bike race on a rusty bike that looks like a 1960 vintage and all the other drivers will slow down to traffic speeds and blah blah blah!

Then there is another ad with the hero dancing and jumping like an ape with a bad itch towards the finishing line in a race while all the other racers slow down to 0.25x ! And all this supernatural stuff supposedly happens because of a freaking underwear!

I can’t believe half of the stuff they show and don’t BLOODY want to believe the other half!

Commercials are meant to sell things to the public. They only reason I believe, behind the rise of such adverts is that due to the fact that the actual entertainment now stands at 25% of the T.V. time, the stuff occupying the 3/4^th part has got to be entertaining... hence these ads!

The development of such commercials not only shows that insanity has now become an asset, and thus, the next step for sure shall be the transformation of Asylums into Ad-agencies!

Perhaps, we shall see more of entertainment then...

Wife murders husband brutally and chops his body into minute pieces just because he didn’t use the perfume...

I mean I don’t know, Next is what?

A walk to remember

If feel that the time spent in the wilderness is the best time in one's life! A person might feel more secure and definitely more comfortable sitting beneath a fan in his living room or in an air-conditioned environment in his car, but the true and pure feeling of happiness originates from the scent of the weeds and smell of the dampness in a forest!
Even now when there are too less forests left and too many cities, the tranquility and serenity of the woods attract the wild being that sleeps in us 'like a bear, waiting for the summer to arrive in order to walk again'... yeah...okay...  read this in a poem somewhere!
People now-a-days are too concerned about their health so they refrain from what they call dirt, mud, grass, weed ( the real one! No drug abuse intended) and such things and still they require vitamin pills, calcium tabs, energy caps, and such crap!
I believe that if a person had too be healthy, he would refrain from gelatin pills rather than twigs!
Its in the wild that wee feel free, we feel out-of-the-chains and we feel 'ourselves'!
Now why do I suddenly get writing about forests and trees? That's because I, along with some of my friends went to a temple on the top of a hill close to our town, called 'Syahi-devi'!
Now its a mile and some to climb to reach the top after an hour long car journey and tell you what... Its amazing!
Despite the fact that I was mostly puking on my was to the spot (Due to the hideous, treacherous, 'beep' 'bee' 'censored' 'censored' songs played in the car by the driver!), I clicked a million photographs on my way up, got lost, ran in the fear of being chased by a leopard, shouted a lot, fell tired and ultimately met my friends! All this in a mile long climb! Phew!
It was I, Pankaj, Bharat, Anshul( the holy son of god... if you've been reading my earlier posts!), Gaurav, Cdt. Dishant, and Akash, who ventured to reach the top of the hill. But we did a lot more than simple soporific and tedious climbing... we wreaked havoc in the hills!
To be honest, it indeed was mostly a rough climb to the top with little incidents like Dishant holding a snake in his hand and me almost being lost... well it doesn't really matter now, does it?
Then we tried to eat some noodles cooked like rice with some sauce that smelled like turpentine oil but was probably nothing but stale vinegar! But before all this we prayed in the temple... for general things that everybody else prays about!
But the actual fun of the trip was on the way down. We halted in a clearing and decided to play hide and seek in the forest we knew nothing about, which probably had a few leopards and with no signs of civilization for about half a mile! But that is what life is all about!
We fell
and we rose, we jumped and crashed( really badly!) we brushed our wounds and played again all this we did despite all the calls from our driver who was getting late!
After an hour of playing we got tired and sent Gaurav ( alone!) all the way to the top of the hill to fetch some water!
After all the fun we had in the wild, I was getting late, and frankly we didn't want to be eaten by the surely frustrated leopards of the forest, so we descended from the hill to the spot where the car and the really crabbed driver!
I might not have gone many places but this was surely one 'heaven' of a trip!

The necessary Immobility!

India is a country of diversity in every aspect of life! Be it festivals or attire, our country is a way apart, there are millions of colors, millions of people and yes, millions of mobile devices! Mobile has now become a part of every household. A device that was very exclusive in the last decade has now become the new revolution! 
There are bureaucrats, doctors, engineers, shopkeepers, housewives, small children, punks, drunkards, drivers, policemen and many many more... each with one hand in their pockets and the other stuck to their ear using a mobile. A mobile is, to be precise, a device that makes you immobile! 
Yeah! It is... i'll tell you how!
See, earlier you used to wake up and shut down the alarm clock, now this (you might not have noticed) required great deal of hard-work... now you just touch the screen and the alarm turns off. WHO THE HELL wakes up after that! Not just this, the alarm tune is something like 'While my guitar gently weeps'... That make you even sleepier!
Apart from that, earlier there was computer to check you mail, Walkman to listen to music, A watch to see the time, a calender to look up the date, and something called a dictionary (People haven't started calling it "GOO"ctionary only because it looks rather crude!).
And to get to all these darn things, you had to walk. And then you lost the calories. And then you stayed healthy.
But all that you find written beneath 'Health' in Wikipedia are terms like 'Non-living', 'organisations' and stuff like that when you search it... oops... 'google' it!
Talking of health, I see in newspapers every other day, reports claiming,
Mobiles fuel Heart attacks, brain dysfunction, liver failure, kidney failure and many more things!
But still mobiles are growing and so are diseases!
You know what this means..." MOBILE IS AN EPIDEMIC! "
You can't keep it in your breast pocket... cause your heart will fail and you will die!
You can't keep it in your back pocket... cause your back will be burned will fail and you will die!
You can't keep it in your frond pant pocket pocket... cause your kidneys will fail and you will die (or get impotent... in case of any other scenario)!
So you are necessarily dead and should stop worrying about insurance policies because you'll end up giving all your money to your children who'll probably buy costly mobiles out of what they get!
I wanted to write a little more, but since I've got a call on my cellphone... maybe I'll write later!

Walking along the freeway of life...

I've never been quite interested in the mysteries of life. For me life has mostly been a random set of riddles... sometimes I am able to fathom them and sometimes I am not, but still, I realize something, mostly I am not able to comprehend why, in the name of sonny jesus, am I solving those freaking puzzles in the first place!
I guess this is the story with most of us who think life is almost as simple as a pie, but mostly we don't understand what has got into making the pie so simple!
Now since I don't like to talk of serious matters to the readers, I usually resort to simple means to convey my actual story!
What I need to talk to you about today is actually a question that i've never actually been able to understand all through my life.


What the hell am I doing here!?


Okay guys, its not that simple. I not here to earn a living. To get married. To have children. To have a house. And frankly, to die!
If death had been the motive of our birth, we wouldn't have born in the first place! There would have been no light bulb had Edison thought that the end result would be it fusing up!
There are many reasons behind us humans all being born with a certain purpose. The first, and most evident, reason would be our frustration at doing certain things. Had we all been machines, all built to do the all the same things, we would have done all the things with the same sense of joy! It wouldn't have been like us having a face of a troll while painting the yard, but since it is, we must conclude that we all are different and built for different purposes!
I've come to think of all this crap today out of no particular reason. I just wanted to write something that was indeed of some use! i guess I can't write useful stuff longer than this, because I realize that things run out of their usefulness when they get boring... look at the comedy shows on Indian television!

Tripping down a trip!

I don’t know how else to put it, but me and my three friends had one hell of a trip today! I mean we crossed paths annihilated by large landslides, had to run from a huge herd of cows, nearly went down to three, and oh... how the ‘hell’ could I forget! We were with the son of god!

Okay! Let’s put it like it happened!

We had planned to go to a tourist spot called ‘Kasar-devi’ that’s in walking distance from our town. We set off at seven in the morning. We were four friends, three impure souls and Christ himself. Okay! One of my friends...whom I saw after a year...who has now got a beard, and thus assumed the appearance of the Son of god...and thus his name!

So we set of on the asphalt covered trail towards our destination. The road to the destination had, to a certain extent, nothing special...well, apart from us christening Christ the redeemer, Christ the photographer; and us nearly entering what looked liked a deserted caravan, in hopes of finding a severed head but otherwise... nothing special!

The actual journey began at our destination!

The ‘Kasar-devi’ temple is at quite some height, and has some great rock outcrops, and we are four young boys... so we decided to get our photos snapped as we fought for dear life on the edges of the severed rocks! So three of us did it, the fourth being an acrophobic or rather unwise...seeing that the lord walked with us!

Let me tell you something here. The spirit of adventure is like herpes, once you get it... there is no way back!

So we got infected, and that too real bad!

We decided to walk down the hill to the road by following un-trodden paths, or rather, no paths at all!

The first real adventure came up when one of our friends, an engineering student, decided to run down a hill, and then (perhaps by the divine will of the ‘lord’ himself), stop as the edge of the mountain approached!

And he failed.

Drastically.

He ran down (as he perhaps had planned), gained speed (the inevitable), and failed to stop (despite the son of god).

But as I approached the edge of the hill, expecting to see a thousand foot fall and his spread-eagled body... I was shocked to see him hopping down what seemed like a 7-foot-drop, clutching his ankle! After all our swearing at him...Lord had indeed blessed his child!

After that we decided to ‘forget’ the sprained ankle and move on down the hill, on no path still!

After we had reached another steep fall, we decided to sit down and enjoy the serene beauty of the valley! But then, one of our friends stepped on cow dung, and ‘Yeshua’ was extremely tired, and despite our ‘forgetting’ the ankle...it was still there!

So we decided to get on the path home as soon as possible. Soon we found an ill-trodden (but ‘still’ trodden) path. We started climbing down the hill. Suddenly we realized that a few women (who apparently decided to think that we didn’t exist), started to walk down the same path we were on with there huge heard of cows. The only way the cows could have walked down the path was by either throwing us down the hill, or by thinking that we were invisible, trotting on upon us and beyond.

Seeing either of these options as clearly unacceptable, we ran down the path for dear life!

After running down what seemed like a few hundred yards, we started walking down again.

Yet again... despite being with the son of god, and despite having faced ‘quite some’ difficulties, our path was now blocked by a massive landslide... which Christ, as usual, thought, could be crossed easily...only if we had the ‘faith’!

Sadly, one of my friends agreed with him... so I swore (don’t call it blasphemy) at both of them and we four split up into two teams... one of my friends and I decided to head back and climb up to the ‘asphalt’ road down as soon as we saw a visible road up. Lord, on the other hand decided to go right way ‘UP”!

Finally after much loud swearing, and pretty much hard work... we finally reached the ‘real road’, and headed on our way down... another ‘not-so special’ journey... with another few exceptions like me playing loud metal music and Christ disagreeing( as expected!) and no one listening to him (again expected!); and also us eating a very-very awkward dish...consisting of curry, mashed potatoes and I-don’t-have-a-freaking-idea-what’s.

On the hole, the journey was fun (irritating), adventurous (ridiculous) and worth remembering (at least for a few days)!

Thanks for all the fun...to Pankaj, Akash, and the lord almighty!