English, as we know it

The English language is considered much more than a way of communication in my country! It’s a representation of high standard! People here have an odd tendency to believe that they have something more important to say if they can sum it up in English. But the English spoken here is very different from the Queen's English, nor is it related to the English of the Americans, and accent, (if you think it’s the reason) is least of my concerns!

English, as I have already stated, is not just for communication, but is also used for laying emphasis, for quoting (and misquoting), for illustrating, for showing off (mainly) and then, yes, for swearing!

But what troubles me the most is the misuse, and to some extent distortion of English!

As we all know, grammar is the base of English language, of any language, actually. If you get the grammar wrong, you don't get the language at all! But a strange belief exists here! People think that English, however disfigured, grotesque, or disembodied, results in a good impression over the listener, or the reader!

Its just like the belief that piercing makes people look cool... but I believe that only if a cool-looking person gets some piercing done, will he look cooler; all the others look like pin cushions!

Let me give you some examples;

The most common greeting message I get on facebook, Google Talk, Orkut, Nimbuzz or any other Chat is:

"How’s YOU!”

Reading this, I get so irritated that I feel like replying:

"He’s fine; he'll come and talk to you later!”

This isn't a mistake. This is molestation!

Another word that appeared out of nowhere when I was in school was 'takouting'. Now, this is a word that most of you wouldn't have heard. I feel this was very specific, not an epidemic!

As the word itself signifies, it's a cross of Taking and out! So instead of saying, I'm taking my pen out, people preferred to say I'm takouting my pen!

Anyways, Spoken English is not the only thing worth concern. Banners, pamphlets, advertisements etc. also have blunders spread all over them.

I attach a few of the many mistakes I have noticed recently... and I assure you, many more exist!

1. ipots: Of all things I have imagined, this is never come to my mind, because, frankly, it's too unimaginable to imagine!

2. This is a menu card with a few 'funny' points to note!

I would now like to conclude by telling all my fellow Indian friends,

People, you've taken birth in a non-English-speaking nation, its nothing to worry about! Speaking Hindi will usually do, but not always! If you want to be a good speaker of English, please don't use English as a show-off, use it as a language!